l’azile

I have been granted a temporary release from the rehab institute (on the condition that someone help me navigate the 19 steps that lead to my front door) so I am home until Sunday night. It is kind of strange being here after more than a month away but it feels so good to be back among my own things and to sleep in my own bed! The place was a bit of a mess when I arrived last night but Alain helped me organise and clean things. He will be back Sunday night to take me back to the institute. A nurse comes by twice a day to give me my Luvenox shots (an anti-coagulant).

I have about three more weeks of on-site rehab to do and then I should be able to do most of it as an out-patient. I have started walking a bit with my prosthesis, about 30 minutes or so a day, and they have been having me do various simulations, like walking outside, walking up a hill, walking up and down stairs (although there is just no way they will ever be able to simulate the broken-down stairs I have here), etc. The objective is to get me, at the very least, to the same point I was in terms of mobility and autonomy before I broke my hip. We are also working on adjustments to the prosthesis because, by inserting that titanium rod in my femur, the doctor straightened my thigh. This has resulted in my leg being over a half inch longer as well as having a very different alignment.

Finally, I am happy to report I am still smoke-free. It has been 37 days since my last cigarette and I must admit that I am very pleased with myself. Although, to be honest, it was actually very easy. Of course, I have been tempted a few times but the urge was fleeting. I think the radical change in context is what has helped the most.

Anyway, for those who are curious, I have been taking a few photos of my experience (although never with as much zeal as the first time around).

Happy Hallowe’en everyone!

I am very tired. To the point that I have had trouble keeping my eyes open these last few days and would I listen to myself, I would just nap all day long. Most evenings, all I feel like doing is calling it a night at 7 PM. People who know me understand that this is completely out of character for me.

I think part of it is obviously the fact that I am still healing, my body is still working on things and it indeed has a lot of stuff to take care of. And of course, I am also dealing with a lot of stress. Not to mention low blood pressure which is something new. The other part of it is, I think, that I have not smoked a cigarette since the accident (which is hardly surprising, what with being unable to move much for the first week or so, let alone get out of bed and go outside to have a smoke). Every time I have tried to quit smoking, it has had a similar effect on me, i.e. being tired and practically stoned, although never quite so intense.

So I have decided to try to stick with it. I do not know if I will succeed because although the physical withdrawal is pretty much over, it really is the psychological withdrawal that is the hardest and the longest to deal with. But I am going to try because I have been hoping to quit smoking for a good while and, ironically, this seems like the perfect opportunity.

Continue reading… déjà vu and yet not so much

You know, I am not even going to bother trying to find a clever title for this post. There is nothing clever about my situation and besides, I am too pissed off.

So yeah, I broke my hip September 24th, as evidenced here. As y’all can imagine, breaking one’s hip is not fun. It is actually quite traumatic not to mention very, very painful. And going through this a second time does not really make it any easier. Well, except maybe for being able to deal more adequately with the amazing amount of bureaucracy one has to contend with despite being in a rather bad way.

Of course, on a personal level, this whole thing has me stressed out because it has, once again, put my life on hold. Besides the inescapable fact that I have a lot of work to do, the truth is things were finally starting to make sense for me. I felt like, four years after breaking my hip the first time, things had finally, for the most part, gotten back on track (because it may not be obvious but breaking a hip is a very disruptive thing). And then BANG!, I break my hip. Again.

Continue reading… I broke my hip again

Last year, a couple of days after I broke my hip, I was lying in my hospital bed on the orthopedics ward from hell, utterly stunned at my predicament. I could not believe I had broken my hip (and so totally at that) only a mere 7 or 8 months after I had started walking again. I was really freaked out about how this could happen but mostly about not knowing what was in store for me.

So being the closet optimist that I am, I tried to think of positive things to come away with from this whole experience. And damn it, I actually succeeded in coming up with 3 or 4 positive outcomes. Not that I am especially better than anyone else at looking on the bright side but there are things that happen out of nowhere that just have such an impact, they are life-changing really. Sometimes they are small things, tiny moments of joy or understanding or despair. Sometimes, they are big things, like breaking a hip. But whatever they turn out to be, they really do have the power to put a lot of things into perspective. For a brief moment, you can see clearly and the important things are revealed.

Continue reading… twinkle, twinkle little scar

As the title says, I am still alive but I must admit, there were times during the last few days where I wished… well, that I might at least be put into a coma until I was completely healed. Unfortunately, hospitals, especially in Québec, are not so accommodating. So not only was I conscious for most of it, except the surgery per se, I was home for most of it too.

Now, I do not wish to be misusunderstood. I am so glad I am home and firmly believe that I will heal better here than in hospital if only because I will actually be able to sleep. But I do think it is rather foolhardy to send me home a scant few hours after hip surgery. This was not a tonsillectomy after all, it was HIP surgery. I think it would have been quite reasonable to keep me overnight, which might have prevented me from having to spend over nine hours in the emergency room a couple of days later due to minor complications. But this is what our health care system here has come to. And it will only get worse.

Continue reading… not dead yet